straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

straightpeoplereceipts:

all of you complaining there are no npcs to give you quests in real life have never been to pride

you arrive at 8am. a lonesome bleach blonde wanders up to you holding a neon drink of indiscernible origin. “have you seen my friends?” he asks. by 8:05am you are on a manic hunt for his friends who he cant seem to provide information about at all

so you find his friends and you dont understand how this group of people met whatsoever. its like this rambling-and-often-singing twink, a confused straight guy who works at a vape shop, a married lesbian that came straight from vermont and spends the whole occasion missing and/or facetiming her wife. you love them. this is your party now

you and your party want a specific item. this is anything from food to a bottle of inexpensive water to a tshirt your new married lesbian friend thinks her wife would like. she swears she saw it at the vendor who had the rainbow umbrellas. when you next look, all the vendors are carrying rainbow umbrellas.

you dont find the tshirt and it has begun pouring rain. between the four of you there is $10. an umbrella costs $12. you now must figure out how to make two extra dollars

a vendor hears you discussing how best to earn $2 and says he will give you an umbrella for free if you say something silly, that seems to be an in-joke but feels kind of mean, to another vendor across the way.

you send the straight man. it is unclear whether he really does it but when he returns, it earns you the umbrella. the embarassment gives him a charisma debuff and you begin to like him a little less.

uh oh! the event is closing hours early due to the rain. the members of your party arrived in a parking you cant find and as you search, you pass an anti-gay preacher. you dont feel like standing in the rain but your party has begun rolling initiative

you fight the preacher and as you leave, remember where the car is parked. another guy youve never seen in your life has tacked himself onto your crew, explaining, “that was awesome!”

you understand immediately he will be the bards boyfriend. there is no other way.

your new friend offers you all food, which the married lesbian has an allergic reaction to. you end the night in the ER with a bunch of strangers. you do not ever see them again after this