am I being selfish?

I chose to distance but

I know that this will make us less close

there’s always a cause and effect

he was insecure and couldn’t deal with it but because of that, he was more attentive and on top of stuff, seemed to care more about things, wouldn’t let things pass….but

now, it’s like he is dealing with his insecurities better but lately he’s been undoing so much work he’s put in

I no longer let him pay for things because of that one time a few weeks ago, and I’m struggling to rely on him even more now because maybe I did need him tonight and he left anyway

but now I’m being selfish because I chose to distance so I’m just adding to the pile